The Unified Beat Theory of the Universe

Or

Rhythmic Patterns: A Study in 20^th Century Conceptions of Societal Networks

Or

Why Architecture is Really Cool!

In which the Author, in all his readily apparent and incorrigible Pretension, attempts to explain the entire universe (well, in all technicality, the social and political aspects thereof), in the space of six short pages, though the use of an eclectic, unforgiving, and ultimately inscrutable mixture of “eclectic” sources, of which the Author believes somehow relates to some sort of defining greater truth that we are all a part of. To this end, the Author would like to state that the “artistic” value of his work is probably nil, and is sure that he is probably imitating something that he read over a couple of beers and a cigarette while “Three’s Company” played out its heartfelt drama on the television. But then again, they say that T.S. Eliot worked on “the Wasteland” while on the set of his hit-network sitcom “Here’s the Twentieth Century!” so, hey, what can you do?

I.

Rhythm and You!

            The natural world can be conceived in many ways as an enormous number of different cycles running in tandem with each other, clicking together like the gears in a machine, with the rotation of some components giving rise to others which eventually cycle back to their original state. The seasons are a clichéd example but an effective one.

            Human beings, as part of this system, are also similarly affected by the general structure of this mechanical structure. As the cog moves in the machine, spring comes –click—and hormones rush into the mind as human mating season begins. Winter arrives and –click- the action of the machine slows down metabolism, and so on.

            Assuming some kind of cosmic recording system, listening to the years at high speed, a definite, rhythmic structure would be detected in this simple relationship between hormone production and natural seasonal rhythms. An even click echoing out a percussive beat would arise.

           

C ertainly this is an idealization, and the rhythms are somewhat more complex, looking, perhaps, something like this:

Which, admittedly, is Chopin’s Lento ma non troppo,  in E Major, but without anything better, this one will have to suffice for our purposes. Don’t you agree?

But this game goes further as well, human beings also operate underneath the auspices of a modern technological society, one that, perhaps most tellingly, is beginning to operate in a very fundamental way on as a series of quantized switches, turning on and off in the dry, air conditioned darkness of a computer server room somewhere.

            Again, the human condition becomes one of rhythm, schedule, and control. We move in correspondence with in the context of continually larger and larger edifices which again create a rhythm in everything from movement to conversation. Is it any surprise to ourselves when it is asserted that the inherent iambic consequence of the English language lends itself to a pacing of everyday language? [1]

            Even the very way in which a building is constructed, where the bathrooms are placed, where rooms are places, how secure the locks are governs the very fabric and nature of social interaction. One might be particularly inclined to note how the set up of dormitories suggest themselves to particular kinds of interaction and analysis. [2]

II.

The Eventuality of Wave Intersection

            Observe though, since society itself has a direct rhythm to it. (And therefore the aggregate forces of civilization itself as governed by these huge, larger cycles which are comprised of the microscopic components that make them up, but are at once greater than all of them combined. In short, that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.) Then we would naturally expect for wave interference to occur as two different forces came into contact with each other.

            Consider the example of the ill produced series of urinals. One notes that in a series of three urinals places next to each other, the middle one is the cleanest, since the societal enforcement of the mechanical beat of flushing states quite energetically that two males will never stand directly adjacent to one another during urination. This is one rhythmic cycle Another one is present, since beverages are served and consumed at approximately the same times each day, there is a certain curve which would describe the rate of usages per unit time. We can draw a table of this regularity.

Flush	None	None
None	None	Flush
Flush	None	None
None	None	Flush
Flush	None	None

            In essence, what is occurring here is that that middle urinal represents a beat rest in the rhythmic cycle that we see developing on average (of course the table is an idealized model, but the fact is that there should be a repeated pattern over the course of a period of time which describes the activity on average that is indeed a pattern). Thus, assuming that each urinal is a “space” for a quarter note, bars of music begin to emerge.

             This, in effect is wave interference, which is shown visually and quite compellingly below. (Do you believe me now? How about now? Now?)

            The biological cycle is interfering with the sociological cycle to give rise to a structural, measurable behavior.  The high points in these waves are the discernable beats that we do notice. The aggregate behavior of the whole system if you will, as in the fact that we notice that the middle urinal is clean.

            But now think about this on an even larger scale, if all the universe is an intersecting series of cycles, then as long as the timing is right, you, yes YOU, have the apparent ability to slip through the intersecting gears and locks created by the natural world. In essence, the very theory of beats suggests that there are times in which beats don’t occur. And therefore, I could be standing right in front of you and you might never notice, since the cycles are correct and in order.

            Perhaps that explains coincidence, “mojo,” prescience, superpowers and unexplained ghosts in the night. Perhaps their just old grooves and cycles rotating together at the right way in the right time to create an extending constructively interfering wave. Now…just to figure out how to use it…

[1] “The gyres! the gyres! Old Rocky Face, look forth;

Things thought too long can be no longer thought,

For beauty dies of beauty, worth of worth,

And ancient lineaments are blotted out.

Irrational streams of blood are staining earth;

Empedocles has thrown all things about;

Hector is dead and there's a light in Troy;

We that look on but laugh in tragic joy.” As someone who was vaguely famous once remarked in some English class or another.